Songs

Had Pepper Lunch for dinner. I'm a happy gurl.

Spent 3 hours ranting in song lyrics - snippets of 30 song lyrics that describe my life as a whole, the happy and sad times - I was about to publish it but then I thought, don't bother.

2 nights ago I had this awful dream of being paralysed again. I was lying on my bed, and there was a birdstand that was either on my bed or slightly floating above my bed. Can't tell. It didn't seem out of the ordinary cos it was a dream.

But the bird that flew in through the window was, though it was just an average looking one. It rested on the birdstand for awhile before proceeding to the bed. For some reason in the dream I recognised it and realised that it wasn't its usual self. In fact, it didn't even descend onto the bed. It was merely hovering mid-air and its movements were sort of frozen... it seemed to struggle while flapping its wings. In my memory, it would usually be all lively and chirpy like any bird would be but this one was injured.

And then I looked over at my sister's bed and there was also another birdstand but the bird that resided there appeared very lively. I kept staring and wondered what was wrong.

That's all I can remember.

When I awoke, I was curious so I decided to look the meaning of the dream up.

This website says:
"Birds are usually considered a very good omen for the dreamer to receive and this is doubly true if the birds are brightly colored, singing, and flying about. (Was quite relieved when I read this. But...) Dead, or dying, birds foretell a period of coming disappointments and worries, while dreaming of the beak of a bird means you will soon change your place of residence. Birds eggs in a nest signifies money, but to see them broken then you will experience a loss of money. If you see birds hatching, then your success will be delayed; an empty nest warns against becoming involved in other peoples arguments."

Being unwilling to accept cruel news and sorta being in denial I decided to look up other sources. Just to give myself a sense of reassurance. But this other website says:
"To dream of dead or dying birds, indicates disappointments. You will find yourself worrying over problems that are nagging on your mind."

Why? My life is so perfect now, I said to myself. What could go wrong?

Of course I chose not to believe it. But just in case, I told myself not to do anything reckless for my own wants for the time being, lest I get disappointed.

Ching, don't go out with strangers.
Don't go on dates.
Try not to approach an ex-fling and initiate a reconciliation. (slut)
Love no one but yourself.

Too late. Even in the comfort of my own home, things have made me confused.

And I see it all now. In the dream, I recognised the bird to be previously happy. That meant the happy past. Now it brought with it a series of struggles. Disappointments.

I was trying to avoid destiny, and to think I'd still face it. To think it'd come to that.

I'm only human anyway. Fate is still fate.

Oh well. Just buy another bird la.