Make a fist and put it in the center of the picture. It looks like the dots are moving ten times faster.

Everyday I wake up with a headache and it stays all day :(

Tourism Academy @ Sentosa

I kinda like school at Sentosa. I walk past the Merlion everyday, and it's sorta like I'm away from school, though I am in school. When I reach the interchange on the way home, I look at those people waiting in line to head to TP and laugh in my head. These 2 days were like a vacation. I would love to spend an entire semester here. I almost don't mind not having friends.

I've been awake all night, tossing and turning like a salad. Stupid meds...

I'm sick and I can't think straight :(

I did a stupid thing by contacting someone from the past. I wanted to feign suicide or something to get him out of my life forever. I know I needn't do that, I could have just ignored him completely. But at 5am in the morning, my head wasn't in its usual state. At first I wanted to text 'I hate you' but I realised if I threatened him horrible things would happen. So I tried to get myself out of his life by texting him 'This is the last time you'll ever hear from me." Then felt guilty afterwards. Why would I lie like that?

A text woke me up at 6.40 and it was him. 'huh?' omggggggg. I didn't reply. Pretended I was asleep ahaha.

So in the morning, or rather, afternoon, cause I woke up at 1.30, I replied, 'Was drunk sorry'. And didn't regret lying anymore. Because why should I feel guilty for lying to a liar?

But I should never ever ever ever do something so stupid again. I'm not going to let myself have another sleepless night.

Oh by the way, I cut my hair, finally.



The hairdresser changed my hair texture and all. And it was epic, because he was so proud of it he was grinning till the end. I like it too. May not seem that different to others but it does to me. I wanted a change of style, no more lion's mane anymore, no more emo kia hair. I told him to cut it the way he wanted to. Seems like he didn't like my "bed head" hair too, because the new haircut is what I actually wanted it to be! :)

I'm going to Malaysia again~ I should just register for citizenship lah.

Ya I know. Look at the time. My appetite has been crazy. I decided to take a late night snack and 5 seconds later I grabbed a muesli bar and gobbled it up too.

Yesterday after like 2 months or so I finally met up with my classmates again for a BBQ session. Because there's no direct bus to ECP we had to walk.... from Area E to Area C. That is like damn far lorh. I think we took like 20 minutes to reach the place.

It was a full moon last night and it was ginormous. Plus it was red and so close to the sea so we were debating if it was a moon OR a balloon. Ya that's how bo liao my classmates are. Still debated after half an hour. Obviously we also have more sensible classmates who said, "You all are still debating over whether it's a balloon? Come on, does a balloon have f***ing patterns like that?"

Still in doubt some of my classmates went over to the shore to stare at the moon. Cos how can a moon be so red and huge right. Like a pimple. Among the rest of us, someone declared that it was "Buddha's balls". (Not to be discriminative against Buddhists, the majority of us are Buddhists anyway.) Then someone went to find them at the shore and related it to them, that the round balloon thing was actually Buddha's balls. They believed it and asked, "那另外一力呢? (What about the other one?)"

But slowly the "balloon" did rise and gradually turned yellow too. It's beautiful and I think I want to be back next month to just gaze at it.

Surprisingly I don't have a hangover. I'm not too sure if I've been drunk last night, though. But I've done stupid things.

Like while walking with Nicole to look for kittens because Terence said there were 2 somewhere around, I noticed 2 leaves and REALLY thought they were the kittens. But under close inspection I realised that they were too small.

Then at home I threw up and after that I started eating again hahahaha!! I didn't eat too much at the BBQ though. It was the alcohol that made me feel full. And then I stared at the computer clock, 12.82am.

Of course doing bimbotic drunken things like that could happen to me anytime anyday. I'm home alone again so I took some leftover fried rice from the fridge and decided to improvise abit. I poured some canola oil into the pan, then I realised it might taste better with butter instead, so I added a TEENY amount of butter in. There was a bottle of dark sauce of some sort nearby and thinking it was Shaoxing wine, I decided to add that in too. After pouring in quite a generous amount, I must say, I realised it wasn't Shaoxing wine but... sesame OIL. OMGOAJGNWSUIHFDAOISJFDOSIJ!!!!!

Stay Sober Leow Yee Ching.

I'm slightly tipsy now. So ya. I'm going to start blogging about today, tomorrow. Face is pink and I'm super hiccupy and I feel like throwing up. Gosh. But hi I'm back home!

This was me a few weeks back. But I'm all good now.

astrologyeeching

I've been thinking of dropping the idea of horoscope compatibility. I think it's stupid to let astrological claims control your love life. It means you're only limited to date like 5 or 6 signs out of a whole circle of 12. Really? From what I heard, love has no boundaries.

And besides, I don't want to believe in compatibility anymore. I believe in chemistry!

But it's a habit already. I don't mean to brag but I'm the astrology guru among my circle of friends. I usually ask new people about their birthdays and when they tell me, I instantly have an idea about them. Virgo? Clean freak, perfectionist. Gemini? Wah, talkative two-face.

Speaking of Gemini, Jayne and I were talking about our Gemini friend Yenny not being like one at all. Then out of curiosity Yenny asked if it's okay if 2 Geminis get together. And Geminis are known for being two-faced, so Jayne was like, siao, 2+2 become 4 already. You want to be with 3 people for what?! Ahahahahha

And also I'm so proud of my Scorpion roots! Cause when I tell people I'm a Scorpio they're like waseh. And come on, how many Scorpios do you actually know huh?

ANYWAY I've been up to random things again. I decided to take a series of quizzes to find out which sign I'm most like and the results are as follows:

Aries: 40%
Taurus: 40%
Gemini: 40%
Cancer: 67%
Leo: 27%
Virgo: 60%
Libra: 47%
Scorpio: 80%
Sagittarius: 40%
Capricorn: 53%
Aquarius: 80%
Pisces: 60%

Therefore I'm a Scorpio and an Aquarius, and mayyyyybe a Cancer.

Hmm, does that mean I should still believe in horoscope compatibility?

P.S - I just did a very detailed analysis on my birthdate. Turns out that based on planet alignment, I'm really Scorpio + Cancer + Aquarius!!! Oh, with quite a bit of Libra traits too. WOW!

So I had a very interesting talk last night. Is it better to be with someone who is telepathically connected to you, or someone who isn't? This topic was brought up because I had been saying the exact same things that the next person had wanted to say nowadays.

And while he's against it due to a bad experience in the past, I'm not entirely sure as yet because I don't think I've been with a telepathic person before.

And I don't know why I've been able to predict peoples' words these days. Perhaps I'm a bit more observant? Like there's this part of me that can link their previous sentence with their next due to their selection of words. It's cool. Let's see how this ability of mine develops :)

But what I'm really lacking of now is trust. I don't know if my intuition is based on my bad past, because I don't want to accept the new. I wonder if it's really my sixth sense or some stupid stereotypes that grew on me after all that had happened in the past.

It was painful. I think every guy will treat me this way.

Love?

I've been following this couple after watching their viral video, which was shared from person to person on Facebook.



Ya watch ah. Watch first then read the rest. Cos I won't be explaining their story to you. SO WATCH AH. WATCH AH.

So after watching their video I decided to like their fanpage. And had been faithfully following it ever since. Plus what he wrote in the info column was quite tear-jerking.

"Audrey is the best woman I have ever met".

And since they even uploaded photos of them, there were some really childish and crude comments about Audrey looking like a ghost. So obviously I tried standing up against them. I said stuff like, "People can be cuter than you, jealous isit?"

Very angry k? People so in love you go and bring them down for what?

Apparently, it was their wedding this morning and they promised to stream it live. (You can watch it here.)

BUT after watching the whole thing I came to realise that it's a hoax. It's a stupid gimmick created by an insurance company. I haaaaate insurance agents even more now. Hate them, haaaaate them!!! *Uses some stupid marketing gimmick to attract insurance agents' attention then locks insurance agents in an empty deserted house and sets insurance agents on fire*

Then I decided to check back on their fanpage.

THEY ACTUALLY REMOVED ALL THEIR PHOTOS AND CHANGED THEIR INFO.





WAH. SIBEI CHEATED LOR.

So I wrote to them, giving them a piece of my mind, something that they deserve so damn much:

" -______________________________________________- "

Then they decided to defend themselves.

"Its intent is to provide followers a glimpse of the fragility of life
through the fictional love story of Mark and Audrey, where they went against all odds and fought for what they truly believe but were denied of everything by an unfortunate event.

Any similarities to actual events or people - living or dead - are purely coincidental."

"You might felt cheated but what we are doing are; trying to make people understand that life is really fragile. We are looking at a positive intention, not to cheat but to bring people together and share points and experiences. A TVC might not best show the impact of life because you knew is all acting."

"Hence, we created a fictional story to capture most attention and make them participate in this story. Each and everyone here play an important role. Be it, supporter, non-supporter or neutral party, you are part of the story."

"This story could happen in real life too. By making people believing that is real, people would show their real self and stand on their own ground. In reality, unexpected things do happen. Is a new way of story-telling."

I don't know if my blogging is free advertisement for them, and I'm sure they have such intentions to, to sort of 'hypnotise' overwhelmed parties to complain about them so that they can reach out to more insurance buyers. Eh marketing student leh me don't play play ah. **** damn pissed off.

But anyway just to make things clear, I'm not going to help them advertise. I'm asking you to boycott them. AIA ah, remember.

Do you still see them in a good light?

This is kind of sad because they actually played around with the idea of love. I wonder how many people can relate to their fictional story, only to realise they've been cheated... People feel cheated already will still buy insurance from you meh?

I'm sure because of this marketing gimmick, many "forbidden" lovers are more encouraged to keep mum about their relationship problems. Super selfish leh this company.

If I had like 20 middle fingers I would point all at once.........................

My Age

One of life's greatest questions is, how old do I really look?

I used to ask that around, but nowadays it seems like I don't have to because people just approach me asking for my age and when I tell them, they say I don't look it.

I don't state my birth year on my facebook page due to security reasons. And cos of that most people think I'm in my 20s already.

But I kinda like it!! For 6 and a half months I can still sneak into clubs till I'm legal. Still haven't done that though. Maybe I should accomplish it soon. Haha.

On the other hand I don't wanna age so fast :( And that brings me to another story.

It's a fact that women like to fake their age. Usually when people ask for my age, I tell them I'm 17. I don't know if I'm in denial or what because some friends scold me for being in denial. They say they tell people their age based on their birth year. So even if their birthday is in October, they say they're already 18. But why. I still want to be 17. I love being 17! When I tell people I'm 17 they give me this priceless look. It's like telling them I'm still a virgin or something. Hahahhaha.

The thing about turning 18 is, you WILL look your age. Whether you look older or younger than other people of your age, it seems acceptable to outsiders that you're 18. Any younger than that, people look at you and say, "Wow! I thought you're in your 20s!" But if you tell them you're 18, for some reason it's easier to accept that you ARE 18. It's damn weird, why are humans so psycho one.

For some reason 2 or 3 days ago people have been asking me for my age. People have started being naughty with me and are asking me about my sexual fantasies and stuff like that. Then when I reply, "What do you expect from a 17 year old?" They get quite speechless and taken aback. Hahaha... LOL.

Someone gave me something worth thinking about, "You look young but with experience. Like in your 20s." Then I tell them I'm 17. "See! I knew it." Hmm.


Btw I think I'm sorta like a mum now.



Nowadays it's my mum looking for things then the first thing I see when I step into the room is the thing that mum's looking for. So I'm her mum now?

:O

And mum's the one saying "Wtf?" now. No la she doesn't swear haha.

omg so cute I wanna puuuunch its cheeks

eyes will pop out like siao

I promise to:
1) Be more loving (I'll try)
2) Be less PMSy
3) Hmmmms I dunno. I just think having a list of 3 things looks nice.




Time to move on :) Thanks buddy for letting me experience love this once :)

Oooh. Scorpio women tend to have relatively few but highly intense relationships. When in love with a partner she is beyond loyal, and will do anything to protect those she loves.

To dream that you commit suicide, represents your desperate desire to escape from your waking life. You may be harboring feelings of guilt that you cannot get over and thus turning the aggression on yourself. You need to start approaching problems from a different angle. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are saying good-bye to one aspect of yourself and hello to a whole new you. It is symbolic of a personal transformation or a new stage in your life.

I'm in Malaysia. The sky is gloomy. Perfect time to sleep. Why am I not at home???????

Leading the average life

It's late, I should be sleeping, but I'm not. I have this annoying rash and it burst and it's bugging me with its itchiness but when I even try to touch it it hurts. How like that. I don't think I can sleep because of my rash.

K. I'm speechless now. There's only so much you can write about a rash and no I'm not going into the scientific facts. Lol why am I even blogging about something like this? Meh my life is boring.

Some people get to walk on red carpets without feeling the need to brag about it. And me? I get a rash and I feel like I ought to tell the world...

I'm going to start cooking COOKING COOKING COOKING!!! I'm going to be the mini housewife in my house.

...Ok translate that to Chinese and it totally sounds wrong.

Changed my look yesterday.

The best thing bout tonight's that we're not fighting

Could it be that we have been this way before? I know you don't think that I am trying. I know you're wearing thin down to the core.

SOME THINGS ARE TRULY BETTER LEFT UNSAID

Songs

Had Pepper Lunch for dinner. I'm a happy gurl.

Spent 3 hours ranting in song lyrics - snippets of 30 song lyrics that describe my life as a whole, the happy and sad times - I was about to publish it but then I thought, don't bother.

2 nights ago I had this awful dream of being paralysed again. I was lying on my bed, and there was a birdstand that was either on my bed or slightly floating above my bed. Can't tell. It didn't seem out of the ordinary cos it was a dream.

But the bird that flew in through the window was, though it was just an average looking one. It rested on the birdstand for awhile before proceeding to the bed. For some reason in the dream I recognised it and realised that it wasn't its usual self. In fact, it didn't even descend onto the bed. It was merely hovering mid-air and its movements were sort of frozen... it seemed to struggle while flapping its wings. In my memory, it would usually be all lively and chirpy like any bird would be but this one was injured.

And then I looked over at my sister's bed and there was also another birdstand but the bird that resided there appeared very lively. I kept staring and wondered what was wrong.

That's all I can remember.

When I awoke, I was curious so I decided to look the meaning of the dream up.

This website says:
"Birds are usually considered a very good omen for the dreamer to receive and this is doubly true if the birds are brightly colored, singing, and flying about. (Was quite relieved when I read this. But...) Dead, or dying, birds foretell a period of coming disappointments and worries, while dreaming of the beak of a bird means you will soon change your place of residence. Birds eggs in a nest signifies money, but to see them broken then you will experience a loss of money. If you see birds hatching, then your success will be delayed; an empty nest warns against becoming involved in other peoples arguments."

Being unwilling to accept cruel news and sorta being in denial I decided to look up other sources. Just to give myself a sense of reassurance. But this other website says:
"To dream of dead or dying birds, indicates disappointments. You will find yourself worrying over problems that are nagging on your mind."

Why? My life is so perfect now, I said to myself. What could go wrong?

Of course I chose not to believe it. But just in case, I told myself not to do anything reckless for my own wants for the time being, lest I get disappointed.

Ching, don't go out with strangers.
Don't go on dates.
Try not to approach an ex-fling and initiate a reconciliation. (slut)
Love no one but yourself.

Too late. Even in the comfort of my own home, things have made me confused.

And I see it all now. In the dream, I recognised the bird to be previously happy. That meant the happy past. Now it brought with it a series of struggles. Disappointments.

I was trying to avoid destiny, and to think I'd still face it. To think it'd come to that.

I'm only human anyway. Fate is still fate.

Oh well. Just buy another bird la.

Gonna watch a soccer match later? I know random right?

I love seeing old couples together
it makes me realize that actually someone can love you forever

Slept in the car park this morning.

To have a total of 8 hours of sleep I should be awake only at 3pm. But NO I woke up 3.5h too early. Anywayz we clinched the deal. I should be happy right now but NO because it's not 3pm yet. But seriously if I wake up at 3pm it will feel like I wasted my day away. I'm just gonna stay up and be a sleepy grumpy old woman who's smiling on the outside :)))



"A woman is often measured by the things she cannot control. She is measured by the way her body curves or doesn’t curve, by where she is flat or straight or round. She is measured by 36-24-36 and inches and ages and numbers, by all the outside things that don’t ever add up to who she is on the inside. And so if a woman is to be measured, let her be measured by the things she can control, by who she is and who she is trying to become. Because as every woman knows, measurements are only statistics. and STATISTICS LIE."


- Nike Advertisement. 1991

I have to wake up at 6am and I'm still awake. Going to suffer lor.

Nowadays I have this temptation to start baking because I simply have no social life. Even my online social life is inactive. I should be a lone baker and own like 10 cats that will always be there, maybe. At least being clawed at every 10 seconds is something worth blogging about. I think. Hello I think I got auntie syndrome now leh how?




I have to leave, I have to hurry and leave
Affection will turn into tears
So that I can’t see the one I left behind
I have to hurry a bit more and leave
She is crying, the love that I leave
The overwhelming sadness is flowing
It is so difficult to take a step
With her back to me
She stands, crying

Don’t ever love
Heartbreak will surely come
It hurts to even breathe
I thought that this would only hurt
As much as I loved
But I was wrong
It hurts a thousand times more

I’m afraid of living with my eyes open
Because I know I won’t see you even if I look for you
It seems better to fall asleep exhausted
After longing for you

Don’t ever love
Heartbreak will surely come
It hurts to even breathe
I thought that this would only hurt
As much as I loved
But I was wrong
It hurts a thousand times more

Just once, one more time, can’t we try it? Can’t we?
I cry out like an idiot to myself

Don’t ever love
It hurts enough to die
You will cry every day
I told myself that when love comes again
that it would be easier and that it would last
But I was wrong. Not for my love
Not for me

It sure feels nice to wake up and not give a damn about anything :)

1 April

I've been in a very contemplative mood today. I was thinking of what I want to be in my next life.

At first I was thinking that I didn't want to be a human anymore. I didn't want to live on earth again. Just wanna 享受 and enjoy myself in 天堂 (heaven). But that would mean I would have done many merits in this life, enough to spend forever in a better place. And at this point of time, I haven't done much to save myself.

I also don't get why people do good just to earn themselves a better afterlife, if it actually exists. It's ironic. If you decide to do good, it should be because you care about the welfare of others, so that they can live more comfortably, not because you can live more comfortably.

Anyway, just in case I'm reborn on earth again, I hope to be a man.

Being a woman is painful. Everyday because of the female nature we think of shallow things like looks. It seems like everyone is competing for skinniness. And if you're not, you're fat and jealous. Not to mention that women age faster. :'( People say that your looks are carried from the deeds of your past life. Therefore if you're jealous of skinny girls you become uglier in your next life. And if the skinny girls aren't bitchy or evil they'll be pretty in their next life. HAHA omg, I think too much.

Not only do we have to face pregnancy and motherhood, and in some point of some of our lives, prostitution (wah scary), from the beginning of time till now, we're still being discriminated. Because of our physical strength everyone thinks we're vulnerable. If a certain guy sleeps around with multiple women, there's really nothing much to say about him but if a girl sleeps around, she's labelled as a slut. SIGH.

"Girls get periods, pregnancy and pain and boys get food, football and females." To what extent do you agree with this statement? Explain. [15m]

Aiya forget it. Not like I can choose my destiny also haha!

On a lighter note, today it is April Fools' Day and sadly I did not get pranked. Neither did I prank anyone. I was stuck in Malaysia all day. Therefore I do not know anyone I can prank. I know, in Malaysia no one knows me and I can joke all I want... but I'm not that da dan. :( I wish I were!!!! Every year I spend April Fools' Day being a loner. I hear of classic jokes like the next class faking a fire alarm and the teacher laughing at their failure but that's all. I hear only I never do anything :(

The only joke I remember pulling was in sec 1 or 2 when I changed my MSN nick to "Changed my number. Nudge me for it. :)" That's all. I guess I'm just not creative enough boohoohoo :(

1 thing I dislike about 1 April is that every piece of news you encounter, you face with a sense of doubt. I didn't believe it when my friend Jacqueline told me that there's this rumour going around that our favourite band has decided to go on a world tour. Oh and GUESS WHAT, we discovered it was just a prank.

Wait ah everybody. Next year I'll make an epic comeback. :) WATCH OUT!!!

Can't believe it's April already. 2011 seems to fly.

Btw, today happens to be my dead dog's birthday. No joke.

Thinking of returning to my previous blog because I feel quite lost without nearly 1000 posts. Should I? :(